It’s important to prepare to have courageous conversations with our friends and family we plan to visit during the holidays. We set intentions, prepare and plan in advance to have discussions that honor our capacity and needs. We don’t cross our own boundaries to be of service to others. We set clear expectations. We co create family agreements around our conversations and make space for self care when we need them. We don’t enter into any topics without pre-planning. We practice talking to our trusted friends before we talk to our families. And we honor our needs and say no or decline conversations that don’t feel good for us to have. We meet defensiveness or difficult people with self kindness and give ourselves permission to step away.

I encourage you to engage with family and friends courageously. This means letting yourself be and speak in your truth. And if you can’t do that, tend to your energy and care for yourself. Not everyone deserves your presence. But if they’re willing to be in conversation with you let’s make sure that we set intentions to prepare for these important discussions.

To prepare for visiting family, here are some gentle considerations and messages you can use.

Set brave space family agreements.

Write out or keep in mind your Permission slip notes: “I can walk away to take a break.I will not be disrespected. I will call my friends if I need their support. I will respect and honor my own personal agreements. I give myself permission to be me.”

You can alway say no.

Let’s keep our conversation to these positive or neutral topics. If we veer off into negative or emotionally charged conversations, I will step away to take care of myself.

Have your support squad on speed dial.

Create a care plan in advance.

Make time for solo date

Make space to debrief if the family conversations went well.

Make space to be with chosen family if conversations or family gatherings didn’t go well.

Make sure you take care of yourself first.