Setting clear and respectful boundaries can be crucial when navigating family dynamics during the holidays, especially when faced with lack of acceptance, dynamics that can make you feel unsafe, or just having to navigate your identities in spaces that are not welcome or fully supportive.

Here are some boundary statements that you might find helpful. Feel free to use them or revise them to your liking:

Setting Intentions for Before, During, and After care practices:

Think of what would be supportive for you as you prepare to be around family. What before care practices would you find supportive? What during care practices? What after care practices?

Make agreements with yourself. Write a list of agreements. For example, I will not spend my time talking to someone who is antagonistic. I will make time to talk to my supportive squad during the holidays.

Setting Personal Boundaries:

• "I appreciate our time together, but I need to prioritize my mental and emotional well-being. If conversations become uncomfortable or disrespectful, I may need to step away to take a breather."

Expressing Feelings:

• "I want our time together to be positive, and I hope we can focus on love and understanding. If certain topics make me uncomfortable or hurt, I'll need to ask that we shift the conversation to something more positive."

Affirming Identity:

• "I value our relationship, and I hope we can accept and respect each other's differences. It's important for me to feel seen and acknowledged for who I am, just as I respect your individuality."

Setting Conversation Limits:

• "I'm happy to engage in conversations that are respectful and considerate. However, if discussions become negative or judgmental, I'll need to redirect the conversation or disengage to maintain a positive atmosphere."

Establishing Privacy:

• "Certain aspects of my life are personal, and I may not feel comfortable discussing them openly. I hope you can respect my need for privacy in certain matters."

Creating Physical Boundaries:

• "I value our time together, but I may need moments alone to recharge. Please understand if I take breaks or spend some time in my own space to ensure I'm at my best during our time together."
• While I value our time together, I will make time to decompress alone to reset and recharge. Please understand that if I take breaks, step away form the gathering or spend some time alone I am doing this to take good care of myself. It is not personal it is for me to tend to my care and needs.

Emphasizing Mutual Respect:

• "Our differences make our family unique, and I hope we can celebrate those distinctions. Let's focus on understanding and respecting each other, even if we don't always agree."